Don't Ever Say These Words to a Single Person

This is going to be a short and sweet post- I came across this on BuzzFeed,my new favorite wasting-time-so-I-don't-have-to-work website.  If you are attached, take note.  If you are single, smile.

Return of the Blog!

So the blog has been dark for almost a year, mostly because I haven't been on many dates and those that I have been on have been so boring that I couldn't even find anything to blog about (aka they were normal guys but just weren't a fit).  So what have I been doing this past year? Well I've bought a condo, renovated a kitchen and got a new job.  All which haven't left a ton of time for dating.  Well ok, I guess I haven't wanted to make time for dating.  I've still been perusing the dating sites (Match, OKCupid and Tinder) but just have been feeling meh about it all.

Well two weeks ago a guy sparked my interest.  He is a new transplant to Colorado (fresh meat!), tall and well spoken via email and text.  So we decided to go out last Friday.  I'm sick of the dinner or drinks or coffee date and since he's new here I thought I'd change it up- introducing the Casa Bonita date!   If you don't know about or haven't been to Casa Bonita, you should probably watch this.  It's pretty much the Mexican version of Chuck E. Cheese.  You don't go for the food, but the entertainment.

We met outside and waited in the cafeteria line to get food.  We chatted about when he moved here, where he's living, how he likes work, etc.  He then mentions that he does Medieval reenactment for fun. OK HOLD THE PHONE! This was not mentioned anywhere in his profile (I went back and checked), pretty sure that this is the kind of hobby that should be mentioned- am I right???.  At this point I have not answered a question about myself.  

Oh I should digress for a moment about attire.  So I know Colorado is casual, but horrible 2-sizes too big black dad jeans, a ripped neck t-shirt and a poo brown sweater/hoodie thing is more attire you'd wear to clean out your garage, not to go on a first date.

Back to dinner-  we get our food on trays and head to the table.  We both pick at our food while having awkward conversation and silences.  Still no questions to me about myself.  We enjoy the cliff divers, the arcade (Skeeball!) and he actually buys something in the gift shop. At this point I'm pretty Casa Bonita'd out.  We head out and I suggest checking out a local bar not too far, so we agree to meet there.

We sit at the bar and order beers and talk sports since baseball is on.  It's pretty clear that I know a significant more about the sport than him and he's not that interested.  He proceeds to SLAM his beer.  Literally in 10 minutes.  Was he just thirsty?  Desperate to get away from me?  I mean he had the opportunity to NOT meet me for that drink.

Anyways, we head out and part ways at my car.  I say thank you and he says text me anytime.  I can guarantee there will not be any texting anytime soon.

The good news is my foray back in to dating was pretty entertaining and I'm able to blog again and entertain all of you! Look for my upcoming review on Hinge, a new dating app and my experience with 8-Minute Dating!

It's good to be back.

There is no harmony in Eharmony

In my previous post I mentioned that I was going to give Eharmony a go since they had a special running to become a member.  For everyone who is happily married or who found your significant other not online, Eharm has a specific way of communicating with your matches by guiding you through 3 steps before you can email them directly.  You CAN email them before answering all of the questions but they recommend that you don't.

So I started off with close to 25 matches in my queue, pretty good in my mind.  After going through them I realized that close to 50% were also on Match.  The other 40% lived in Longmont, Utah, Pueblo or Wyoming.  Um ya, I'm totally going to date someone who lives 2+ hours from me.  The remaining 10% I sent the 1st step, 'getting to know each other'.  A few rejected me and a few others progressed through 'must have and can't stands' and 'learn more about him' to the email, yay!  Some never emailed me and some that I responded to via email never emailed me again.  Begin rant~ok WHY would you waste all your time going back and forth with Eharm's dumb questions if you didn't want to learn more about me? Please don't waste my time ~end rant.

So I'm taking a break from dating for a bit. It's clear that I'm burned out.  I'm going on dates with guys just to go on dates, knowing before hand that we're probably not a good fit.  Now don't think that I'm pigeon holing myself by not being open to dating outside of my comfort zone, I'm definitely open to meeting someone that I wouldn't think I would date.  There are just some deal breakers that I can't get around, like: you don't like to be outdoors, you dislike dogs and you don't drink.

Rants about Men on Match

Meeting a man the old fashion way just didn't pan out so I'm back to Match.  I've also had thoughts about trying out eHarmony again but just can't commit to the cost and the time it takes to update my profile.  It's on my list of 'to-dos' that's about 64 items long.  

One of the things that really irks me about Match is the empty email.  Meaning no subject line and a few words in the body, like "Hi."  or "Your cute" (yes I know that is grammatically incorrect, but that's typically how they spell it.)  Or the one today, asking if I liked guacamole and if I wanted to get naked.  Um, are you going to smear guac all over me when I get to your house? Add that to the list of obscure fetishes.

Ok I'm definitely revisiting eHarmony, score!  $9.95/month special for 3 months, lets try this out again.  Updates to come...

Also update from silent treatment man from my last post.  It turns out he just went mental.  He texted me and said he's going through a thing and needs to figure out what's happening in his head.  As one of my friends said, ABORT!  ABORT!!

Radio Silence

I've gone out with the guy I met at the bar a few times and we've always had a good time and good conversation, I even made him a non-meat eaters dinner (he's a meat eater) one night and he didn't complain.  

Fast forward to this past weekend.  We had plans on Friday which were cancelled by him, excuse was that he had a long week, was tired, was grouchy, blah blah blah.  Ok, cool with me, I get that everyone has those days.  We  made plans for Saturday night instead.  I didn't hear from him all day and when I finally did, he asked what I wanted to do.  I suggested a show or a movie or something and then didn't hear back from him for close to 2 hours. 

So I'm a little more than a little Type A and absolutely hate when we have plans and then you go quiet.  So you need a nap, a shower, need to walk the dog?  Just tell me for f@$k sake!  Don't leave me hanging- it makes me all grouchy.

When I finally heard back from him he didn't have any good ideas for plans. So we settled on the Broncos pre-season game, nothing like getting excited to cheer on the Donkeys!!  We met at a restaurant/bar that I suggested as he had zero ideas.  We met, got a table and this is where things took a giant nose dive.  No more good conversation or smiles or compliments or gentlemanly gestures.  Just coldness, and silence and boredom.  

He knew that I had a lot going on this week, but I thought I'd hear something from him, if only a Hi, hello.  But nope.  Just the silent treatment. Pure radio silence.

It's obvious you don't want to go out with me again, but please have the common courtesy to let me know instead of leaving me hanging!  Douche.  

How to meet a guy the old fashion way

Girl goes out with friends, has a couple of drinks, locks eyes with guy across the bar.  He buys her a drink, they dance together and make out a bit.  Or a TON.  It feels like they're the only ones on the dance floor. At the end of the night they exchange contact information, go on their merry ways (or go home to hook up) and hope to hear from each other again.  He calls her, they go out and the rest is history, right? Or WRONG.  

In the age of technology and iPhone apps like Match and my new favorite Tinder (It's  hot or not, but you can hook up and no- I haven't met anyone yet) all the communication seems to happen online.  You read their profiles and know the basics about them before being even meeting them.  It takes away all the mystery and most of the excitement.  I've been on lots of online dates over the years but can't say that I've had too many with strangers from the bar.

Cue the paragraph above- word for word happened to me a few weeks ago.  I had been out with a friend at a Rockies game, went to the bar after and ran in to another friend and a group she was with.  I smiled at a guy across the bar-  talking, dancing and making out all happened before I realized that I was real drunk.  Almost to 'I'm going to get myself in to trouble' drunk so I booked it out of there, but not before handing him my business card which has my cell phone on it.  

I received a text exactly 2.5 days later and we went out over the weekend, and have plans to go out again soon.  The night is a bit foggy for the both of us but we both remember him saying to me that I seem like a lot of fun and asking if he can take me out.  So we'll see where things go from here!

The Blog is Back- Finally!

So I've taken a bit of a hiatus from blogging and from dating. Call it two new jobs in one year or sucky dates or what have you.  I'm ready to get back in to it as I've really missed telling my readers my stories and its great therapy.

I've had a few dates here and there or have attempted to plan dates with guys from Match but nothing has really panned out.

One of said men I went out with on five or so dates.  We had a good time together and he seemed fairly nice although as I got to know him he seemed to get needier and more desperate.  I went over there one night to have dinner with him and things just didn't go well.  Too much wine, his house was too hot and he was way too pushy. That's when I realized I just wasn't in to him as his touch made my skin crawl.  

I was also supposed to have lunch with a guy who has a kid and wasn't ever available in the evenings.  That should have been a blatant red flag but oh no, I attempted to schedule a lunch date with him.  Now I'm in sales so meetings and opportunities take precedence over me taking a lunch typically.  Call me crazy but this girl needs to put food on the table.  The first attempt at lunch he cancelled because he has a meeting.  The second attempt I had to cancel because my boss called a meeting.  His response was 'sorry but it seems like this isn't going to work out, good luck in your search'.  WTF?  You can cancel but I can't?  Ya, no thank you.

Tomorrow look for my story about meeting a man at a bar- does that even happen anymore?

It's good to be back!

Back to Square One or Not?

Well the guy I so fondly talked about in my last blog post has been kicked to the curb.  After 8 dates or so I realized that the only time we had good conversation was after two drinks.  And although conversation was decent, a lot of things weren't just quite right- there was just some things that I like to do that he couldn't see himself doing.  NO- these aren't things in the bedroom- dirty thoughts tonight eh?  I'm talking about dancing in the rain, or dancing at all! Going to concerts, trying new restaurants, dressing up in costumes for no real reason... I could probably go on.  So ya, I had to let that one go.

There is potentially another man around the bend, but I gotta see where it goes before I talk about it, I feel like I might jinx this one if I do.  All I know is that he makes me laugh, gives me awfully nice compliments and is damn cute.

The Cart Before the Horse

I haven't written a blog post in what seems like forever.  I've taken most of the summer off from dating and have spent my time doing me things, like: trying to mountain bike, weekend trips away, gardening, going to Rockies games, sitting on patios, etc.  I also spent the summer thinking about my single life, what I truly want in a partner and even crying sometimes about it all.

I also got a new job about 2 weeks ago, so quitting and starting something new hasn't been the easiest.  My new job is in a real office with nice people and guys who are mostly married.  Not like I'd date a co-worker but I have a few single girl friends left!

I've been on some mediocre first dates over the past few months, and some lousy second and third dates.  Some guys never paid for even a drink of mine.  Come on guys, if you like me try to get me drunk and make out with me!  Just like all of the other dates I've been on in the past there just wasn't a spark, they were all just meh.

About 2 months ago I decided it was time to actually PAY for dating, I mean you pay for what you get, right?  Free=lousy men and pay=better men?  So I get on to Match, fill out my profile, upload some summer photos and start winking at guys. Because that's what I do best, wink and not talk.  Some responded with a no thanks, some didn't respond at all, some actually wrote back.  Even less wanted to meet in person.  Why do guys just want to chat on and on and on?  They know they are good on paper but suck in person, is what I've figured out.

I'm not going to put the cart before the horse or anything like that but I've been on 3 dates with a guy and I have to say I think I LIKE HIM.  And he's a good kisser.  I know that after our wildly high schoolish make out session in my car last week.  It's been over 3 years since I've liked a guy, so I have to admit it feels a little strange.  We have a lot in common, but not too too much.  He has a ton of the qualities I want in a partner.  He's going to meet some good friends of mine this week so we'll see how it goes.  And we have plans for the weekend too.

Valentines Day and Other Ramblins

So I went on a Valentines Day first date.  What, you think that's weird?  Ok, it was a little strange.  We were eating sushi amongst couples that were holding hands, making out and who couldn't stop staring lovingly in to each other's eyes.  BARF.  We were asking each other questions like where did you grow up, and what do you do for work.

It was definitely high pressure for the guy, especially since getting a reservation last minute was nearly impossible, but was figured out thanks to online reservations.  Conversation was good, etc. and I think I'll give him a second chance.  He called today and left me a voice mail about scheduling another time to go out but only if I'm interested.  Dude- have some balls and say that you'd like to take me out again!

Now to the 'Other Ramblins'.  Okay guys, listen up.  If you aren't interested in a girl instead of lying blatantly to their face, just tell them the truth!  Maybe I'm too old or too whatever, but don't lie about having plans.  Oooh, did I CATCH you in that lie and are you embarrassed??!  Haha for you.  Either come up with a better lie or tell the F*#^ing truth!

Oh and my Ex got engaged on Valentines Day- sooo cheesy but good for him.  I wish them many years of happiness.

Ok Ramblin done.  I do have another first date this evening with another eligible Denver man.  We're meeting at Stranahan's, which should be fun.  Details to come!

New Year, New Dating Strategy

Happy 2012!  2011 was a year of first dates, both good and bad, but not a lot of second dates.  This year I'm changing that, by signing up for the one dating site I said I NEVER would- Eharmony.  I decided that maybe I do need to pay to date, in hopes that the men will be higher quality (aka I'm getting what I pay for).  After signing up and completing page after page of personality questions, then uploading photos including the must have full body shot, face shot and shot with friends, I was ready to get started.  And by Joe, the men ARE better looking and seem to be more motivated to find someone for a serious relationship!

I went on a date two nights ago with what I hope is one of many more men from Eharmony.  The date was great (it's been a LONG time since I've been able to say this), great conversation, lots of laughing and he even paid!  We'll see if I hear from him again, I hope so.  If not, there are plenty more waiting in the wings to go out with.  Let's just hope that I don't get matched with any more of my friends- can you say awkward??!

First Date One Liners

We've all had those first dates where one line out of the other person's mouth just turns you off.  Mine last night was "I'll be in touch".  That's almost as bad as "I'll call you".  Clearly, when you hear either of those lines, the guy will not be calling you or getting in touch.

The good part of the date is that I found a cool new bar in Denver.  More of a speakeasy, at Williams & Graham you enter in to a bookstore store front, and you enter the bar through this bad ass hidden door that's disguised as a bookshelf.  The drinks are good, the service is good and the decor is dark and romantic.

Okay, back to the date.  He paid for the drinks and the conversation was good.  Hell, we had 2 drinks in 3 hours and it didn't seem like 3 hours.  But then he was tired (aka bored) so we left.  There was also the checking of the phone and the constant yawning.  Do I think he'll call?  Probably not.  Although it would be fun to go see the Muppet's movie since we both mentioned we hadn't seen it yet.

Realization About Online Dating, and The Holidays

I realized last night when I was bored and perusing OKC for available guys that there is a large number of men on the site that have more than one profile.   Not different profiles with different photos, but virtually the same profile with merely a different user name.   I'm sure these duplicate users didn't lose their passwords or forget their user name.  Are they not smart enough to figure out how to change user names, change photos, edit text, etc?  Do these guys really think they can get more ladies if they portray themselves differently in each post?  Online dating is definitely getting a little stale these days.  I've been trying to find some good MeetUp groups and other social events where I (and my single friends) can meet other quality singles but it seems like they have been few and far between as well.

It's hard to be single during the holidays.   I get sad about how I'm not in a relationship, don't get to shop for their presents, blah blah blah.  And there are always couple parties and group (although mostly couples) events that happen that single people don't want to go to alone.  I need to think about finding a wingman or woman this year for these said parties.  We'll go together and dress up and have fun and even help each other scope out the singles.  Good idea, right??!

Two Bad Dates, One Week

I had two bad dates within a few days of each other last week.  The first was on Monday, he was older and I knew he had kids.  Turns out he has 2 kids, 2 cats, 2 dogs and is still not divorced.  Our conversation was okay but he was obviously NOT ready to date anyone.

I think he had this sticker on the back of his SUV

The second bad date was on Friday night.  Note to self: no first dates on Friday nights.  Ever again.  He was nice enough, pretty cute and then became slightly creepy.  He also wanted to do tequila shots.  Not really my thing on a first date, or really ever for that matter.

Definitely won't be seeing either of them again!

I stole this quote off of a guys OKC profile today, I thought it was a good one "All the pictures are great, but it's really about personality and how two people connect. Obviously, there has to be attraction, but there is so much more."

A "Whoa is Me" Moment

I'm having a feeling sorry for myself moment.  Or more like two days.  I even shed some tears about it.  I'm doubting decisions and questioning thoughts.  I've lead with my heart and that has become hurtful.  I'm probably going to read this tomorrow and say to myself, really?  You have a damn good life.  Buck-up, Buttercup!  


It's hard when you like(d?) someone and you realize there is no reciprocation.  It's made me think about what the hell is wrong with me?  What do other girls have that I don't?  Give me a chance, why don't you?  Do I just get the balls and say hey, I like you.  Will you go out with me?  Of course not, that damn thing rejection gets in the way.  

This is the song that is for all of us who have liked someone and lost.  Or is it their loss?  

How I wish you could see the potential,

                                                                        the potential of you and me.

It's like a book elegantly bound but,

in a language that you can't read.

Just yet.

So what do you say, want to spend some time with me?

Doldrums of Dating

Dating has been less than stellar lately so I gave my profile some updating with some help of a friend.  Not much was changed, a few things here and there, so we'll see if that helps with the men.  I've messaged a few guys here and there but nothing.

My friend suggested that I delete guys that I like out of my contacts in my phone.  Oh wait, that's right!  None of the guys I've been on dates with are IN my phone, and I didn't like any of them anyways!  But hey, if you delete them and they call you (I've seen it happen)- awesome!

I've been watching Millionaire MatchMaker on Bravo.  I'm not a millionaire (far from it) and I'm pretty sure Patti would rip me apart if I was one of the lady selections, but I think she has good advice on dating in general.  A few winners from the last show:

-2 drink limit on the first date
-Don't date down
Your must-have list can't be ridiculous

Fingers crossed I'll have some dates here in the near future, or this single/dating blog is going to get pretty boring!

Making a Move

I've had quite a few conversations about who is supposed to make the first move when you like someone. It seems like we ladies expect the guy to make the first move but that guys wish girls would make a bigger  attempt to make said move.  Traditional?  I think not, just flat out scared!

I've always had a hard time making the first move because one (or more) of these outcomes gets caught up in my mind:

- the "ick/eew" face, aka "you think I like you that way??
- flat out rejection
-laughed at to my face

So guys, I think it's better off for you to make the first move, otherwise a move may NEVER happen given the above circumstances.  Who knew dating could be so challenging, and why don't they start to teach this in school instead of sex-ed??

You Can't Always Get What you Want

Everyone has heard the famous song by The Rolling Stones, and that's how my dating life feels these days!

It's never fun liking someone you realize (after many failed efforts) will never like you back for the person you are.  It's a tough pill to swallow and one that I just have to deal with.  For some reason I keep on liking guys that I should just be friends with, and I've even crossed over in to that grey area that blurs together a relationship and friendship- TROUBLE! 

I'm hoping to have a date or two with guys from OKC this week, or possibly go to a meetup group to meet new people, it's all kind of up in the air right now. 

I did have a date last week, we had great conversation but realized we didn't have that much in common.  And he has two cats.  And he was about 3 inches shorter than advertised.  Better luck next time, right??!

If I Write it, Will He Come?

While out walking with a friend tonight, we got talking about men (of course) and what we're looking for in guys.  The problem is I don't know if I really know what I want/need in a guy.  She suggested that I create a list of everything that I think want in a guy, and if I do this then I'll get that guy!  But if I create this list, aren't I limiting myself to that kind of guy?  I thought that I was supposed to be dating out of my comfort zone?  Or maybe not, so here goes my list:

-Wants to settle down and have a family aka get married
-Financially stable
-Dog friendly
-Taller than me
-Able to communicate
-Open to adventures
-Makes me laugh and smile
-Likes sports
-Affectionate
-Can cook and clean

Okay list, I'm ready for my man!

Is professional dating profile-writer an actual job?

If so, I think I could use their help.  I thought that I have a good online dating profile- witty, charming, smart, a bit sarcastic.  I have more than one photo (five actually) and some of them show more than just my face (um nothing nude, obviously).  What am I doing wrong?  Do I sound too dumb?  Too jaded?  Too cool for school?  Is the male dating pool so small in Denver that ALL guys who are matched with me have seen my profile before?  I'll happy share my okcupid posting with anyone who wants to check it out and share criticism. 

What is worse than a bad date?

A date who doesn't show up.  There's a first for everything, I guess!  I had plans for a second date (our first date was earlier in the year, it was snowy), we talked on Monday and everything was set.  I confirmed via email today (no response) and then showed up at said date location.  Now I was a few minutes late (10 actually) but I let him know before that I might be with the drive and the torrential rain that Denver's been getting.  I walked around, sat down for a bit and.....nothing.  So I left.

I think that he should pay me a no-show fee, like when you give you credit card at a hotel or restaurant.  You don't show, you get charged.  I'm thinking about setting up a Paypal account where they have to make a deposit on our date, and if they don't show, $25 no show fee!  Think it would work??

I finally gave in!

I've been pretty tired of the free dating sites (POF and OKCupid) so I've paid for a one month trial of Match.  I logged on, completed my profile, uploaded photos and went to check out the multitudes of guys who are also paying to date.  Much to my surprise (or disdain), the majority of the guys are THE SAME as POF and OKCupid.  So we'll see... I'm giving it a month.

I've also made some general observations about online dating.  When a guy says they don't drink, it's probably wise to listen to one's instincts and NOT go out with them- things WILL be awkward when he orders coffee and you order a drink.  Lesson learned!

2nd time is not the charm, and 1st isn't either!

My 2nd date with guy from last week who I thought was awesome was NOT so awesome.  He was awkward and annoying, which made me annoyed and grouchy.  And the music sucked- bluegrass was more like christian country- ew.   We'll see if 3rd date ever happens, I guess he's "busy" this week.  Oh well...

New guy, date number 1 was tonight.  His photos were from years ago when he was about 45 lbs lighter.   I've learned from friends who are also online dating that full body shots are very important for them when looking at girls.  Moving forward I'll only accept full body shots (that are current) from guys- lesson learned!


Just another day in.... Paradise?  Denver?  Ug...

Smacked in the Face with Memories...

Last weekend was the first weekend of City Park Jazz, the official start to summer.  As I was walking with my friend I saw my ex with his girlfriend (my ex friend)... and then promptly ran in to a parked box truck.  No really, I was trying to avoid him and I smacked my arm right in to the mirror.  Just so that I'll remember THAT memory for the next week the mirror left a nice bruise on my arm.  Thanks, memories.

Now on to dates... I've had a couple of online dates recently.  I had dinner at the local Thai place with this guy who was a dad jean offender.  Not much personality and a guy who looked good on paper but eh in person.

The other guy from last week has some real possibility... not food picky, good dresser, tall, smart and funny.  Seems to be a good combination so we'll see where it goes!

I have a few other dates lined up next week with a older guy AND a younger guy...figured I'd try out both for a change (instead of just older or the same age).

It's been quiet on the Western Front...

I've only had a few dates here and there, a couple have been decent and a couple... not so good.  Hopefully there will be a 2nd date from one of the first dates, but we'll see.  I'm beginning to think that guys on the online dating sites have been deleting their profiles, creating new ones with new names, and then re-contacting me.  I already said no to you once, dude, what makes you think that a name change will make me go out with you?

Now that it's summer there are tons more opportunities for outdoor events and places to meet guys:  the park, rooftop patios, happy hours.... people just seem to be in more of a festive mood now that the weather is nicer.

Also thought I'd share this lovely story which really brings a positiveness to online dating.

Crushes and Rejection

Orange Crush.  Blue Crush.  Boy Crush! The when you see him your heart flutters kind of crush.  I'm realizing that having a crush on a boy isn't as fun as it was back in middle school, when you used to call him, giggle a bit and then hang up.  When you saw him in school and would shyly say hi.  Ah...the days.  Now there's feelings, and awkwardness, and rejection.   The over analyzation of everything and what went wrong.

When you google rejection or crush, I'm finding that WikiHow is really helpful for things like "How to communicate with a guy after he's rejected you".  Who would have known??

I'm ready for a relationship!  Something long term!  I can't help but feel a little sad  when my couple-y friends go out for dinner or on vacation on don't invite me.    Until then, datapalooza is definitely planned for the spring and summer of 2011.  I gotta turn that frown upside down!  Up next:  speed dating is planned!

Great and funny men's website

I love this post about shirt tucking in no-no's..

http://manofthehouse.com/style-grooming/fashion/4-reasons-not-tuck-in-shirt

Lent: The time to give things up

I always pictured in my head the type of guy I thought I'd date and/or marry.    I have decided that that guy doesn't really exist (besides in my dreams) and I need to get real.  So for Lent, I am giving up types.  Who cares about height?  weight?  eye color?  What really matters:  personality, things in common, smiling, laughing, etc.    I'm going to make it to Easter for sure..

The St. Patrick's day party (aka: drink fest) was great- good friends, good eye candy and free flowing booze.  I didn't realize Denver had so many Trixies and the male version, Chads.  Seeing so many in one place brought back tons of good ol' Chicago memories.  

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

St. Patrick's Day is big in Denver- parades, drinking, green clothing.  Everyone is happy that the weather is taking a turn for the better (aka: warmer) and we can be outside drinking again.  I didn't go the big party at Fado's last year because... well I was still getting over my break up I guess.  It's supposed be be sunny and 67 on Saturday so I can't wait for a day of outdoor drinking, sun and hopefully making out with some boys!  I just need to break out my green clothing now.

Besides that, it's been all quiet on the dating front as of late.  I spent a nice, long weekend in California with my sister and have been really concentrating on my new job.  Yup, new job!

I Gotta Feeling..

..that next week's date might be good.  The day/time isn't set yet, but we are going out.  I can't wait.  More details to follow!

Lookin' for Love...

...On the RTD?  Or on the side of the road?  So I'm taking the RTD for a few days, my car was involved in a hit-and-run and is in the shop.  While it was getting towed the other day, the tow-truck driver asked me out.  I'm guessing that he was in his upper 40's, and he was missing some visible teeth and sporting womanly locks. Needless to say, I said no.  And he works 4pm-4am, when would I ever see him??

While trekking my way up 16th Street Mall because the free shuttle wasn't coming I engaged in a conversation with a guy who was also walking and waiting.  He asked me out, but I kindly declined...he just didn't seem like my type.  And I could barely talk because my face was frozen (1 degree with a -19 windchill)

I'll still be checking out the guys on the bus, though.  No iPod, magazines or books for me- I want to look available and willing to chat! 

Men and Flakiness

Come on Gentleman, when you ask me to go out, don't cancel on me!  And via text?  Come on, get the balls to pick up the phone and call!    No excuses like it was snowing too hard or I didn't have any clothes to wear or the dog ate my car keys.  Rescheduling for 2 weeks from now is no consolation prize.  DELETE!

Dating is on Pause

So I'm a little tired of the lame dating scene here in Denver so have decided to take a brief hiatus.  I'm planning on taking a trip to see my sister in CA in a few weeks so maybe I'll fall in love with a rich hunky man who owns a winery, loves dogs (but doesn't have any) and is tall and cute!  One can hope, right??

What to do on a 3rd date?

If I can get to a 3rd Date, I like Dan's advice. 

If you don't subscribe to DailyCandy, I suggest you sign up! 

No big news to report on the dating front, although I'm thinking about a few options to meet hotties:
speed dating, renting a puppy and walking in Wash Park, or the lunch thing...

Denver is no longer MENver

From the most recent 5280 issue, which profiled Denver's Tallest Tales:

12. “Menver” is a fair, accurate nickname for Denver. False

If you walk into a LoDo watering hole, the ratio of beards to broads is often way out of whack, which helps perpetuate Denver’s reputation for testosterone overload. In 2007, National Geographic provided quantitative backup to the rumor by publishing a map that suggested the Denver metro area was home to about 40,000 more single men than single women. But a more recent U.S. Census Bureau estimate indicates that single women now outnumber single men by about 2,000. Sadly, neither Nat Geo nor the Census Bureau offered suggestions for how to distract eligible bachelors from craft brewery happy hours or totally epic powder days. —LUC HATLESTAD

Is this really the kind of guy I attract?

So I've had dates here and there with guys I thought were my type, based on OK Cupid ratings and similar interests.  My faith in said ratings is definitely dwindling, unless I'm supposed to end up with a Dad Jean wearing  guy, who I had the pleasure of having a date with on Friday. If you don't know what Dad Jeans are, here is Obama sporting a nice pair.

No, this was not the same dad jeans guy from my date a few weeks back but a different one.  JOY!  There is more than one 30-something guy in this lovely state who thinks dad jeans and white tennies are okay on a first date!  Yup, I'm being serious.  I lasted about 45 minutes, pretty much slamming my beer and using my dog as an excuse. 

I also received a lovely text from the guy I've been out with a few times, and who I thought I could see myself dating.  It said  "Although I've had fun with you I've started dating another girl exclusively."  My response was "Good luck with that."

There are two more potentials lined up for the next ten days, a lunch date Wednesday and Happy Hour next week.  My fingers are crossed for non-dad jeans dates!

I love this photo/e-card

Although I didn't break up with anyone this year around the holidays (thank goodness!), I still thought it was pretty hilarious.  And I'm sorry to anyone out there who broke up with someone either right before or right after the holidays, I know how much it sucks.  It was one year ago that I had my big break up, and it was just his birthday too.  Did I feel sorry for myself?  Hell no!  I got drunk with my friends, mainly the day after New Years.  It's always suggested to drink many, many mimosas and do the wave at Steuben's.  All of my fun money after bills are paid usually goes to them.  And I don't complain about that.

A few years ago (ok, I guess it's been more like 6 years) my then boyfriend and I broke up on January 1st.  Seriously.  He told me he would have broken up with me earlier than that, but he knew I was getting him nice presents for Christmas so he stayed with me.  His defense was that he spent a lot of money on my birthday earlier that year so it only made sense to get Christmas presents.  Really??!  I now remember why guys can be jerks sometimes.

8 Mistakes

I read this article today and thought it was worth posting.  I don't think I have any male readers but if so, the article offers some good advice.  If not, if you the reader has some single male friends, pass along the link- they'll thank you.

Some of the joys of being single AND some dates

I've been thinking a lot about my life, where I'm going, where I've been and what lies ahead.  I'm realizing (with the help of all my friends) that only I can design and build the road to my happiness!  Here's a few things I'm enjoying in my single life:

-I get all 4 pillows AND the whole bed.  At least when the dogs aren't on it...
-I can do what I want, when I want, the way I want
-I can eat breakfast for dinner or dinner for lunch or not eat at all
-I don't have to shave my legs all the time!
-I can drive erratically, sing in the car and stop anywhere I want along the way
-I don't have to live up to anyone else's expectations, or listen to anyone else's demands
-I AM HAPPY BEING ME!!

After reading my list I am smiling and realizing that I am happy where I am in my life- finally!  I owe much of this to my friends, you guys know who you are.  That being said, Datapalooza is NOT ending... it's too much fun.

I did have a date on Sunday with a guy who told me umpteen times that he was from XXX town and what he does for work.  In my head I kept on hearing "This one time at band camp..." it was a bit exhausting.  And he sat on the same side of the booth as me!  Talk about awkward, I like to look at people in the face, not cram my neck around to look at them.  And I swear he spit on me...more than once!  NEXT.

My other date from last week was a chain smoker.  We went to happy hour for less than 2 hours and he got up to smoke twice, and talked about it about 5 times.  I'm okay with occasional smokers, but really?  On a first date?  NEXT.


Merry Holidays, and Happy New Year.  Datapalooza 2011 is on the horizon! 

I stick out like a sore thumb

It's that time of the season for holiday parties, both companies and friends.  On Friday I went to a company holiday party with my good friend S.  Assuming that there would be single guys at the party was a bad idea, because there was none to be seen. Even the photographers and wait staff had rings on their fingers.  Really?

I rounded on my weekend of holiday parties with a white elephant party on Saturday night with some of my favorite people. It was a great time with Wasasil  and sausages in saucy goodness.  The best part was the white elephant gift exchange, when I, the only single person at the event chose the present with this book.

I immediately turned bright red and everyone laughed.  Someone else made a comment about the dip and how it was dateless (the other dip had dates) just like me.  WOW, nice hua?

I typically really like Christmas, but with the anniversary of my breakup right around the corner the holidays aren't seeming so festive this year.  Here's looking towards a new year, right?

Ready to Rumble!

I'm back from my lovely Thanksgiving holiday.  It was a great visit with family and I think I was only asked a few times if I was "going with anyone".  I do wish I could have spent more time in the airports.  I love people watching, and after reading this article I want to see if I can find love at an airport too!  ORD, SFO, BWI, JFK-  instead of the typical man-quest to visit all major league baseball stadiums I'm starting a quest to visit (and hang out in) all of the major airports in the US.  Time to start booking flights, with as many layovers over 2 hours as possible!

On to Better Things

Good news readers, Datapalooza IV (or is it V) will commence after the Thanksgiving Holiday, I have at least 4 dates lined up which should amount to some good reading.

Happy Thanksgiving, safe travels and enjoy the holiday with good food, good friends/family and some good drinks.

Radio Silence and Annoyance

So I've been out with the same guy roughly 12 times and things were going good.  We had rounded second base and were on our way to a home run in the next few dates when... radio silence.  No response to my phone calls or text, and he even cancelled the last time we were supposed to get together.  I'm just waiting for the Facebook friends deletion.  I mean really? 

What kind of guy does this?  If you aren't interested in me anymore, for whatever reason, at least let me  know instead of saying/doing nothing!  All I can think about is what did I do/say that made such an impact, that after 12 GOOD dates you just leave me hanging?  It doesn't take all that long to send me a quick text saying that although you've had fun you just aren't that in to me.  Or just tell me to read the book.  Geez.

The good news is that I'll have some new content (aka men) for my blog now.

Fabulously Single?

5280 Magazine is having their annual Top Singles Nomination for their event in February.  Vote for me or for someone else you think is fabulous, single and worthy of meeting other hot singles! 

Does Love Exist or is it a Fantasy?

I'm not overly cynical but I've always wondered how people feel about love?  After watching the movie 500 Days of Summer my thoughts went back to all of my previous relationships.  Was I in love with the idea of being with a guy or the way he made me feel?  Or was I in love with the idea of not wanting to be alone?

This is the longest I've ever been single, I'm going on almost a year.  And I have to say, I love it.  I have a new found appreciation for doing things that I want to do WHEN I want to do them, not answering to anyone besides myself (and I guess the dogs), and sleeping in a bed by myself.  

After my Datapalooza's I, II and III I'm not convinced that I'm quite ready to fall back in to a relationship, aka give up my single life.  As Summer says "I like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later."

And PS:  I put on my big girl pants last week...

Kissing Cooties

I think I have kissing cooties.  I can't figure out why, after multiple dates, good conversation, laughing, good chemistry, etc. I am unkissable. Am I at the horrible place that single girls call the friend zone?

After some additional thought, I need to get my big girl pants on and just go for it!

Back From Working Vacation

I'm back from sunny Mexico, I had a great working vacation courtesy of my company .. zip lining, volunteering, exploring beautiful towns, culture plus many umbrella drinks.  I'm glad to be home and starting up a whole new round of Datapalooza with some new guys from a dating website.  And I'll make sure to get their names this time, hehe.

I also have a 4th date with one of the guys I went out with on the last Datapalooza, and I really like him.  I took my friends advice and went on a date with him even though I was a little hesitant about parts of his life.  But let me tell you, I'm glad I did and can't wait for this weekend. 

On a separate note...

While on the flight to/from Mexico, I started this book about a dog's purpose in life.  I'm not done reading it but I'm looking forward to the dog finding out what his purpose is in life. The book has made me smile, cry and laugh out loud.  If you are a dog lover I recommend reading this book.  Hell, I'll even lend it to you when I'm finished.  It's also made me wonder what my purpose in life is... the thought process is still working itself out. 

Hello, Your Name Is...?

I had two first dates this weekend (and a 3rd date to boot, although that will be a separate post), both of which I couldn't remember or find their names and both of which were before noon.  I mean I HAD their names in an email on the dating site I'm using but somehow they were deleted.  Talk about awkward!  I'm still not quite sure how to GET their names.  I wrote them and said thank you for the date and signed my name, hoping they would sign their name back but that didn't work.  Maybe the ol' I dropped my phone in the toilet and I lost all of my contacts trick will work?  Or the dog ate it?


So now I have to TBD entries in my blackberry's address book.  Hopefully one day soon the TBD's will be replaced with Patrick or Joe or Sam.. or something.

Datapalooza.. and What is a Dealbreaker?

So I have 3 dates in 4 days.. one is a 2nd date and the others are first dates.  I fondly refer to this as Datapalooza.  I am not above having 2 dates in the same day, either, and have actually done this on a few occasions.

My friends have suggested that I pre-qualify my dates because my recent dates have looked go on paper (aka online) but not so good in person.  And this got me thinking- What are my 5 MUST-haves in a guy?

Height?  Weight?  Age?  Eye color?  Shoe size (wink wink)?  Do these things really matter?  I mean I'm tall, but do I really need a guy that will tower over me when I'm wearing heels (which I honestly wear once a month)? I've narrowed down my must-haves to these:

-nice teeth/smile
-wants to settle down in the next few years/open to kids
-at least my height
-good sense of humor/can make me smile
-likes sports, both playing and watching
-50/50 between loving the outdoors and loving the city life.

Ok that's six, but whatever.. I like to bend the rules.

My good friend M says that I need to keep an open mind about my dates.. age, kids, job, etc.  All that doesn't really matter all that much if when you meet them, they are truly your better half.

Wish me luck!

Thought I'd share an email..

I thought I'd share the email I sent to my friends about my 'dad jeans' date:


Met at XXX Tavern, 6pm.  I went inside and ordered a beer.  I saw him walk up and thought he would just come inside, but he waited outside on the bench.  From the second I saw him I knew it wasn't going to be a good date, I should have gotten up and left right then.  I didn't have his number, but he had mine so he could have called.  He sat outside for 10 minutes and then finally came inside.  And stood by the door. For another 10 minutes.  I was sitting right inside and looked at him and smiled a few times... no response.  After 20 minutes and my first beer, he finally walked up to me and asked if I was me.

So not a good start.

A few things:  He's lived here for 20 years and hasn't been to Red Rocks, or a concert in 7 years.  He's never been to the mountains really (never been to Estes, etc.),  He dislikes the outdoors.  he is tall, but he is super nerdy.  He was wearing dad jeans and bad tennis shoes.  He couldn't hold a conversation and there were a ton of weird silences.  The most fun thing he does on the weekends is play trivia in a bar.  He also lived with his parents until he was 28.. and he's 30.

Does age really matter?

How big of an age gap really matters?  5 years?  10 years?  15 years?  Women in their 40's who date/pursue younger guys are called cougars, and women in their 30's (like me) are called Pumas.   I love that term.  Although I don't know if I'm looking for a younger guy?

I went on a date with a older man (9 years older) who has older kids.  I would have never have guessed, he looks significantly younger than that.  I mean, does it really matter?  He doesn't act older and besides the fact that my age is half way between his and his daughters, I don't see much of a difference.

I read this article about age gaps and how NOT to treat your significant other, so I guess as long at I take their suggestions in to consideration, I'm good.  

Dad Jeans? Bad Tennis Shoes?

So what is appropriate attire for a first/blind date?  The date I went on last night was wearing old man New Balance shoes, dad jeans and the same shirt that he's wearing in BOTH of his profile pictures.  Really?  Do you have any other shirts to wear?

I'm not an overly dressy person- I tend to feel most comfortable in jeans, comfy sweaters and flip flops, but I always step it up a notch for first dates.. I don't want them to think I'm a slob who doesn't know how to dress.

I just wonder... what goes through guys heads when they get ready for a first date?  Do they think that if they wear what they are wearing in the photos that it will help us pick 'em out of a crowd?

This is an interesting website, they actually give men advice on what to wear to different dates, including the movie theater and dinner.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a better dressed guy on the next date.. Saturday happy hour.

Welcome to my Blog!

After a suggestion from my sister today, I have decided that a blog about my dating adventures would not only be fun but interesting as well!  I'll be sharing stories about blind dates, first dates, missed connections, guys I see on the street, speed dating, etc.  I hope you all find this entertaining!