Rants about Men on Match

Meeting a man the old fashion way just didn't pan out so I'm back to Match.  I've also had thoughts about trying out eHarmony again but just can't commit to the cost and the time it takes to update my profile.  It's on my list of 'to-dos' that's about 64 items long.  

One of the things that really irks me about Match is the empty email.  Meaning no subject line and a few words in the body, like "Hi."  or "Your cute" (yes I know that is grammatically incorrect, but that's typically how they spell it.)  Or the one today, asking if I liked guacamole and if I wanted to get naked.  Um, are you going to smear guac all over me when I get to your house? Add that to the list of obscure fetishes.

Ok I'm definitely revisiting eHarmony, score!  $9.95/month special for 3 months, lets try this out again.  Updates to come...

Also update from silent treatment man from my last post.  It turns out he just went mental.  He texted me and said he's going through a thing and needs to figure out what's happening in his head.  As one of my friends said, ABORT!  ABORT!!

Radio Silence

I've gone out with the guy I met at the bar a few times and we've always had a good time and good conversation, I even made him a non-meat eaters dinner (he's a meat eater) one night and he didn't complain.  

Fast forward to this past weekend.  We had plans on Friday which were cancelled by him, excuse was that he had a long week, was tired, was grouchy, blah blah blah.  Ok, cool with me, I get that everyone has those days.  We  made plans for Saturday night instead.  I didn't hear from him all day and when I finally did, he asked what I wanted to do.  I suggested a show or a movie or something and then didn't hear back from him for close to 2 hours. 

So I'm a little more than a little Type A and absolutely hate when we have plans and then you go quiet.  So you need a nap, a shower, need to walk the dog?  Just tell me for f@$k sake!  Don't leave me hanging- it makes me all grouchy.

When I finally heard back from him he didn't have any good ideas for plans. So we settled on the Broncos pre-season game, nothing like getting excited to cheer on the Donkeys!!  We met at a restaurant/bar that I suggested as he had zero ideas.  We met, got a table and this is where things took a giant nose dive.  No more good conversation or smiles or compliments or gentlemanly gestures.  Just coldness, and silence and boredom.  

He knew that I had a lot going on this week, but I thought I'd hear something from him, if only a Hi, hello.  But nope.  Just the silent treatment. Pure radio silence.

It's obvious you don't want to go out with me again, but please have the common courtesy to let me know instead of leaving me hanging!  Douche.  

How to meet a guy the old fashion way

Girl goes out with friends, has a couple of drinks, locks eyes with guy across the bar.  He buys her a drink, they dance together and make out a bit.  Or a TON.  It feels like they're the only ones on the dance floor. At the end of the night they exchange contact information, go on their merry ways (or go home to hook up) and hope to hear from each other again.  He calls her, they go out and the rest is history, right? Or WRONG.  

In the age of technology and iPhone apps like Match and my new favorite Tinder (It's  hot or not, but you can hook up and no- I haven't met anyone yet) all the communication seems to happen online.  You read their profiles and know the basics about them before being even meeting them.  It takes away all the mystery and most of the excitement.  I've been on lots of online dates over the years but can't say that I've had too many with strangers from the bar.

Cue the paragraph above- word for word happened to me a few weeks ago.  I had been out with a friend at a Rockies game, went to the bar after and ran in to another friend and a group she was with.  I smiled at a guy across the bar-  talking, dancing and making out all happened before I realized that I was real drunk.  Almost to 'I'm going to get myself in to trouble' drunk so I booked it out of there, but not before handing him my business card which has my cell phone on it.  

I received a text exactly 2.5 days later and we went out over the weekend, and have plans to go out again soon.  The night is a bit foggy for the both of us but we both remember him saying to me that I seem like a lot of fun and asking if he can take me out.  So we'll see where things go from here!

The Blog is Back- Finally!

So I've taken a bit of a hiatus from blogging and from dating. Call it two new jobs in one year or sucky dates or what have you.  I'm ready to get back in to it as I've really missed telling my readers my stories and its great therapy.

I've had a few dates here and there or have attempted to plan dates with guys from Match but nothing has really panned out.

One of said men I went out with on five or so dates.  We had a good time together and he seemed fairly nice although as I got to know him he seemed to get needier and more desperate.  I went over there one night to have dinner with him and things just didn't go well.  Too much wine, his house was too hot and he was way too pushy. That's when I realized I just wasn't in to him as his touch made my skin crawl.  

I was also supposed to have lunch with a guy who has a kid and wasn't ever available in the evenings.  That should have been a blatant red flag but oh no, I attempted to schedule a lunch date with him.  Now I'm in sales so meetings and opportunities take precedence over me taking a lunch typically.  Call me crazy but this girl needs to put food on the table.  The first attempt at lunch he cancelled because he has a meeting.  The second attempt I had to cancel because my boss called a meeting.  His response was 'sorry but it seems like this isn't going to work out, good luck in your search'.  WTF?  You can cancel but I can't?  Ya, no thank you.

Tomorrow look for my story about meeting a man at a bar- does that even happen anymore?

It's good to be back!

Back to Square One or Not?

Well the guy I so fondly talked about in my last blog post has been kicked to the curb.  After 8 dates or so I realized that the only time we had good conversation was after two drinks.  And although conversation was decent, a lot of things weren't just quite right- there was just some things that I like to do that he couldn't see himself doing.  NO- these aren't things in the bedroom- dirty thoughts tonight eh?  I'm talking about dancing in the rain, or dancing at all! Going to concerts, trying new restaurants, dressing up in costumes for no real reason... I could probably go on.  So ya, I had to let that one go.

There is potentially another man around the bend, but I gotta see where it goes before I talk about it, I feel like I might jinx this one if I do.  All I know is that he makes me laugh, gives me awfully nice compliments and is damn cute.

The Cart Before the Horse

I haven't written a blog post in what seems like forever.  I've taken most of the summer off from dating and have spent my time doing me things, like: trying to mountain bike, weekend trips away, gardening, going to Rockies games, sitting on patios, etc.  I also spent the summer thinking about my single life, what I truly want in a partner and even crying sometimes about it all.

I also got a new job about 2 weeks ago, so quitting and starting something new hasn't been the easiest.  My new job is in a real office with nice people and guys who are mostly married.  Not like I'd date a co-worker but I have a few single girl friends left!

I've been on some mediocre first dates over the past few months, and some lousy second and third dates.  Some guys never paid for even a drink of mine.  Come on guys, if you like me try to get me drunk and make out with me!  Just like all of the other dates I've been on in the past there just wasn't a spark, they were all just meh.

About 2 months ago I decided it was time to actually PAY for dating, I mean you pay for what you get, right?  Free=lousy men and pay=better men?  So I get on to Match, fill out my profile, upload some summer photos and start winking at guys. Because that's what I do best, wink and not talk.  Some responded with a no thanks, some didn't respond at all, some actually wrote back.  Even less wanted to meet in person.  Why do guys just want to chat on and on and on?  They know they are good on paper but suck in person, is what I've figured out.

I'm not going to put the cart before the horse or anything like that but I've been on 3 dates with a guy and I have to say I think I LIKE HIM.  And he's a good kisser.  I know that after our wildly high schoolish make out session in my car last week.  It's been over 3 years since I've liked a guy, so I have to admit it feels a little strange.  We have a lot in common, but not too too much.  He has a ton of the qualities I want in a partner.  He's going to meet some good friends of mine this week so we'll see how it goes.  And we have plans for the weekend too.

Valentines Day and Other Ramblins

So I went on a Valentines Day first date.  What, you think that's weird?  Ok, it was a little strange.  We were eating sushi amongst couples that were holding hands, making out and who couldn't stop staring lovingly in to each other's eyes.  BARF.  We were asking each other questions like where did you grow up, and what do you do for work.

It was definitely high pressure for the guy, especially since getting a reservation last minute was nearly impossible, but was figured out thanks to online reservations.  Conversation was good, etc. and I think I'll give him a second chance.  He called today and left me a voice mail about scheduling another time to go out but only if I'm interested.  Dude- have some balls and say that you'd like to take me out again!

Now to the 'Other Ramblins'.  Okay guys, listen up.  If you aren't interested in a girl instead of lying blatantly to their face, just tell them the truth!  Maybe I'm too old or too whatever, but don't lie about having plans.  Oooh, did I CATCH you in that lie and are you embarrassed??!  Haha for you.  Either come up with a better lie or tell the F*#^ing truth!

Oh and my Ex got engaged on Valentines Day- sooo cheesy but good for him.  I wish them many years of happiness.

Ok Ramblin done.  I do have another first date this evening with another eligible Denver man.  We're meeting at Stranahan's, which should be fun.  Details to come!

New Year, New Dating Strategy

Happy 2012!  2011 was a year of first dates, both good and bad, but not a lot of second dates.  This year I'm changing that, by signing up for the one dating site I said I NEVER would- Eharmony.  I decided that maybe I do need to pay to date, in hopes that the men will be higher quality (aka I'm getting what I pay for).  After signing up and completing page after page of personality questions, then uploading photos including the must have full body shot, face shot and shot with friends, I was ready to get started.  And by Joe, the men ARE better looking and seem to be more motivated to find someone for a serious relationship!

I went on a date two nights ago with what I hope is one of many more men from Eharmony.  The date was great (it's been a LONG time since I've been able to say this), great conversation, lots of laughing and he even paid!  We'll see if I hear from him again, I hope so.  If not, there are plenty more waiting in the wings to go out with.  Let's just hope that I don't get matched with any more of my friends- can you say awkward??!

First Date One Liners

We've all had those first dates where one line out of the other person's mouth just turns you off.  Mine last night was "I'll be in touch".  That's almost as bad as "I'll call you".  Clearly, when you hear either of those lines, the guy will not be calling you or getting in touch.

The good part of the date is that I found a cool new bar in Denver.  More of a speakeasy, at Williams & Graham you enter in to a bookstore store front, and you enter the bar through this bad ass hidden door that's disguised as a bookshelf.  The drinks are good, the service is good and the decor is dark and romantic.

Okay, back to the date.  He paid for the drinks and the conversation was good.  Hell, we had 2 drinks in 3 hours and it didn't seem like 3 hours.  But then he was tired (aka bored) so we left.  There was also the checking of the phone and the constant yawning.  Do I think he'll call?  Probably not.  Although it would be fun to go see the Muppet's movie since we both mentioned we hadn't seen it yet.

Realization About Online Dating, and The Holidays

I realized last night when I was bored and perusing OKC for available guys that there is a large number of men on the site that have more than one profile.   Not different profiles with different photos, but virtually the same profile with merely a different user name.   I'm sure these duplicate users didn't lose their passwords or forget their user name.  Are they not smart enough to figure out how to change user names, change photos, edit text, etc?  Do these guys really think they can get more ladies if they portray themselves differently in each post?  Online dating is definitely getting a little stale these days.  I've been trying to find some good MeetUp groups and other social events where I (and my single friends) can meet other quality singles but it seems like they have been few and far between as well.

It's hard to be single during the holidays.   I get sad about how I'm not in a relationship, don't get to shop for their presents, blah blah blah.  And there are always couple parties and group (although mostly couples) events that happen that single people don't want to go to alone.  I need to think about finding a wingman or woman this year for these said parties.  We'll go together and dress up and have fun and even help each other scope out the singles.  Good idea, right??!

Two Bad Dates, One Week

I had two bad dates within a few days of each other last week.  The first was on Monday, he was older and I knew he had kids.  Turns out he has 2 kids, 2 cats, 2 dogs and is still not divorced.  Our conversation was okay but he was obviously NOT ready to date anyone.

I think he had this sticker on the back of his SUV

The second bad date was on Friday night.  Note to self: no first dates on Friday nights.  Ever again.  He was nice enough, pretty cute and then became slightly creepy.  He also wanted to do tequila shots.  Not really my thing on a first date, or really ever for that matter.

Definitely won't be seeing either of them again!

I stole this quote off of a guys OKC profile today, I thought it was a good one "All the pictures are great, but it's really about personality and how two people connect. Obviously, there has to be attraction, but there is so much more."

A "Whoa is Me" Moment

I'm having a feeling sorry for myself moment.  Or more like two days.  I even shed some tears about it.  I'm doubting decisions and questioning thoughts.  I've lead with my heart and that has become hurtful.  I'm probably going to read this tomorrow and say to myself, really?  You have a damn good life.  Buck-up, Buttercup!  


It's hard when you like(d?) someone and you realize there is no reciprocation.  It's made me think about what the hell is wrong with me?  What do other girls have that I don't?  Give me a chance, why don't you?  Do I just get the balls and say hey, I like you.  Will you go out with me?  Of course not, that damn thing rejection gets in the way.  

This is the song that is for all of us who have liked someone and lost.  Or is it their loss?  

How I wish you could see the potential,

                                                                        the potential of you and me.

It's like a book elegantly bound but,

in a language that you can't read.

Just yet.

So what do you say, want to spend some time with me?

Doldrums of Dating

Dating has been less than stellar lately so I gave my profile some updating with some help of a friend.  Not much was changed, a few things here and there, so we'll see if that helps with the men.  I've messaged a few guys here and there but nothing.

My friend suggested that I delete guys that I like out of my contacts in my phone.  Oh wait, that's right!  None of the guys I've been on dates with are IN my phone, and I didn't like any of them anyways!  But hey, if you delete them and they call you (I've seen it happen)- awesome!

I've been watching Millionaire MatchMaker on Bravo.  I'm not a millionaire (far from it) and I'm pretty sure Patti would rip me apart if I was one of the lady selections, but I think she has good advice on dating in general.  A few winners from the last show:

-2 drink limit on the first date
-Don't date down
Your must-have list can't be ridiculous

Fingers crossed I'll have some dates here in the near future, or this single/dating blog is going to get pretty boring!

Making a Move

I've had quite a few conversations about who is supposed to make the first move when you like someone. It seems like we ladies expect the guy to make the first move but that guys wish girls would make a bigger  attempt to make said move.  Traditional?  I think not, just flat out scared!

I've always had a hard time making the first move because one (or more) of these outcomes gets caught up in my mind:

- the "ick/eew" face, aka "you think I like you that way??
- flat out rejection
-laughed at to my face

So guys, I think it's better off for you to make the first move, otherwise a move may NEVER happen given the above circumstances.  Who knew dating could be so challenging, and why don't they start to teach this in school instead of sex-ed??

You Can't Always Get What you Want

Everyone has heard the famous song by The Rolling Stones, and that's how my dating life feels these days!

It's never fun liking someone you realize (after many failed efforts) will never like you back for the person you are.  It's a tough pill to swallow and one that I just have to deal with.  For some reason I keep on liking guys that I should just be friends with, and I've even crossed over in to that grey area that blurs together a relationship and friendship- TROUBLE! 

I'm hoping to have a date or two with guys from OKC this week, or possibly go to a meetup group to meet new people, it's all kind of up in the air right now. 

I did have a date last week, we had great conversation but realized we didn't have that much in common.  And he has two cats.  And he was about 3 inches shorter than advertised.  Better luck next time, right??!

If I Write it, Will He Come?

While out walking with a friend tonight, we got talking about men (of course) and what we're looking for in guys.  The problem is I don't know if I really know what I want/need in a guy.  She suggested that I create a list of everything that I think want in a guy, and if I do this then I'll get that guy!  But if I create this list, aren't I limiting myself to that kind of guy?  I thought that I was supposed to be dating out of my comfort zone?  Or maybe not, so here goes my list:

-Wants to settle down and have a family aka get married
-Financially stable
-Dog friendly
-Taller than me
-Able to communicate
-Open to adventures
-Makes me laugh and smile
-Likes sports
-Affectionate
-Can cook and clean

Okay list, I'm ready for my man!

Is professional dating profile-writer an actual job?

If so, I think I could use their help.  I thought that I have a good online dating profile- witty, charming, smart, a bit sarcastic.  I have more than one photo (five actually) and some of them show more than just my face (um nothing nude, obviously).  What am I doing wrong?  Do I sound too dumb?  Too jaded?  Too cool for school?  Is the male dating pool so small in Denver that ALL guys who are matched with me have seen my profile before?  I'll happy share my okcupid posting with anyone who wants to check it out and share criticism. 

What is worse than a bad date?

A date who doesn't show up.  There's a first for everything, I guess!  I had plans for a second date (our first date was earlier in the year, it was snowy), we talked on Monday and everything was set.  I confirmed via email today (no response) and then showed up at said date location.  Now I was a few minutes late (10 actually) but I let him know before that I might be with the drive and the torrential rain that Denver's been getting.  I walked around, sat down for a bit and.....nothing.  So I left.

I think that he should pay me a no-show fee, like when you give you credit card at a hotel or restaurant.  You don't show, you get charged.  I'm thinking about setting up a Paypal account where they have to make a deposit on our date, and if they don't show, $25 no show fee!  Think it would work??

I finally gave in!

I've been pretty tired of the free dating sites (POF and OKCupid) so I've paid for a one month trial of Match.  I logged on, completed my profile, uploaded photos and went to check out the multitudes of guys who are also paying to date.  Much to my surprise (or disdain), the majority of the guys are THE SAME as POF and OKCupid.  So we'll see... I'm giving it a month.

I've also made some general observations about online dating.  When a guy says they don't drink, it's probably wise to listen to one's instincts and NOT go out with them- things WILL be awkward when he orders coffee and you order a drink.  Lesson learned!

2nd time is not the charm, and 1st isn't either!

My 2nd date with guy from last week who I thought was awesome was NOT so awesome.  He was awkward and annoying, which made me annoyed and grouchy.  And the music sucked- bluegrass was more like christian country- ew.   We'll see if 3rd date ever happens, I guess he's "busy" this week.  Oh well...

New guy, date number 1 was tonight.  His photos were from years ago when he was about 45 lbs lighter.   I've learned from friends who are also online dating that full body shots are very important for them when looking at girls.  Moving forward I'll only accept full body shots (that are current) from guys- lesson learned!


Just another day in.... Paradise?  Denver?  Ug...