You Can't Always Get What you Want

Everyone has heard the famous song by The Rolling Stones, and that's how my dating life feels these days!

It's never fun liking someone you realize (after many failed efforts) will never like you back for the person you are.  It's a tough pill to swallow and one that I just have to deal with.  For some reason I keep on liking guys that I should just be friends with, and I've even crossed over in to that grey area that blurs together a relationship and friendship- TROUBLE! 

I'm hoping to have a date or two with guys from OKC this week, or possibly go to a meetup group to meet new people, it's all kind of up in the air right now. 

I did have a date last week, we had great conversation but realized we didn't have that much in common.  And he has two cats.  And he was about 3 inches shorter than advertised.  Better luck next time, right??!

If I Write it, Will He Come?

While out walking with a friend tonight, we got talking about men (of course) and what we're looking for in guys.  The problem is I don't know if I really know what I want/need in a guy.  She suggested that I create a list of everything that I think want in a guy, and if I do this then I'll get that guy!  But if I create this list, aren't I limiting myself to that kind of guy?  I thought that I was supposed to be dating out of my comfort zone?  Or maybe not, so here goes my list:

-Wants to settle down and have a family aka get married
-Financially stable
-Dog friendly
-Taller than me
-Able to communicate
-Open to adventures
-Makes me laugh and smile
-Likes sports
-Affectionate
-Can cook and clean

Okay list, I'm ready for my man!

Is professional dating profile-writer an actual job?

If so, I think I could use their help.  I thought that I have a good online dating profile- witty, charming, smart, a bit sarcastic.  I have more than one photo (five actually) and some of them show more than just my face (um nothing nude, obviously).  What am I doing wrong?  Do I sound too dumb?  Too jaded?  Too cool for school?  Is the male dating pool so small in Denver that ALL guys who are matched with me have seen my profile before?  I'll happy share my okcupid posting with anyone who wants to check it out and share criticism. 

What is worse than a bad date?

A date who doesn't show up.  There's a first for everything, I guess!  I had plans for a second date (our first date was earlier in the year, it was snowy), we talked on Monday and everything was set.  I confirmed via email today (no response) and then showed up at said date location.  Now I was a few minutes late (10 actually) but I let him know before that I might be with the drive and the torrential rain that Denver's been getting.  I walked around, sat down for a bit and.....nothing.  So I left.

I think that he should pay me a no-show fee, like when you give you credit card at a hotel or restaurant.  You don't show, you get charged.  I'm thinking about setting up a Paypal account where they have to make a deposit on our date, and if they don't show, $25 no show fee!  Think it would work??

I finally gave in!

I've been pretty tired of the free dating sites (POF and OKCupid) so I've paid for a one month trial of Match.  I logged on, completed my profile, uploaded photos and went to check out the multitudes of guys who are also paying to date.  Much to my surprise (or disdain), the majority of the guys are THE SAME as POF and OKCupid.  So we'll see... I'm giving it a month.

I've also made some general observations about online dating.  When a guy says they don't drink, it's probably wise to listen to one's instincts and NOT go out with them- things WILL be awkward when he orders coffee and you order a drink.  Lesson learned!

2nd time is not the charm, and 1st isn't either!

My 2nd date with guy from last week who I thought was awesome was NOT so awesome.  He was awkward and annoying, which made me annoyed and grouchy.  And the music sucked- bluegrass was more like christian country- ew.   We'll see if 3rd date ever happens, I guess he's "busy" this week.  Oh well...

New guy, date number 1 was tonight.  His photos were from years ago when he was about 45 lbs lighter.   I've learned from friends who are also online dating that full body shots are very important for them when looking at girls.  Moving forward I'll only accept full body shots (that are current) from guys- lesson learned!


Just another day in.... Paradise?  Denver?  Ug...

Smacked in the Face with Memories...

Last weekend was the first weekend of City Park Jazz, the official start to summer.  As I was walking with my friend I saw my ex with his girlfriend (my ex friend)... and then promptly ran in to a parked box truck.  No really, I was trying to avoid him and I smacked my arm right in to the mirror.  Just so that I'll remember THAT memory for the next week the mirror left a nice bruise on my arm.  Thanks, memories.

Now on to dates... I've had a couple of online dates recently.  I had dinner at the local Thai place with this guy who was a dad jean offender.  Not much personality and a guy who looked good on paper but eh in person.

The other guy from last week has some real possibility... not food picky, good dresser, tall, smart and funny.  Seems to be a good combination so we'll see where it goes!

I have a few other dates lined up next week with a older guy AND a younger guy...figured I'd try out both for a change (instead of just older or the same age).

It's been quiet on the Western Front...

I've only had a few dates here and there, a couple have been decent and a couple... not so good.  Hopefully there will be a 2nd date from one of the first dates, but we'll see.  I'm beginning to think that guys on the online dating sites have been deleting their profiles, creating new ones with new names, and then re-contacting me.  I already said no to you once, dude, what makes you think that a name change will make me go out with you?

Now that it's summer there are tons more opportunities for outdoor events and places to meet guys:  the park, rooftop patios, happy hours.... people just seem to be in more of a festive mood now that the weather is nicer.

Also thought I'd share this lovely story which really brings a positiveness to online dating.

Crushes and Rejection

Orange Crush.  Blue Crush.  Boy Crush! The when you see him your heart flutters kind of crush.  I'm realizing that having a crush on a boy isn't as fun as it was back in middle school, when you used to call him, giggle a bit and then hang up.  When you saw him in school and would shyly say hi.  Ah...the days.  Now there's feelings, and awkwardness, and rejection.   The over analyzation of everything and what went wrong.

When you google rejection or crush, I'm finding that WikiHow is really helpful for things like "How to communicate with a guy after he's rejected you".  Who would have known??

I'm ready for a relationship!  Something long term!  I can't help but feel a little sad  when my couple-y friends go out for dinner or on vacation on don't invite me.    Until then, datapalooza is definitely planned for the spring and summer of 2011.  I gotta turn that frown upside down!  Up next:  speed dating is planned!

Great and funny men's website

I love this post about shirt tucking in no-no's..

http://manofthehouse.com/style-grooming/fashion/4-reasons-not-tuck-in-shirt

Lent: The time to give things up

I always pictured in my head the type of guy I thought I'd date and/or marry.    I have decided that that guy doesn't really exist (besides in my dreams) and I need to get real.  So for Lent, I am giving up types.  Who cares about height?  weight?  eye color?  What really matters:  personality, things in common, smiling, laughing, etc.    I'm going to make it to Easter for sure..

The St. Patrick's day party (aka: drink fest) was great- good friends, good eye candy and free flowing booze.  I didn't realize Denver had so many Trixies and the male version, Chads.  Seeing so many in one place brought back tons of good ol' Chicago memories.  

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

St. Patrick's Day is big in Denver- parades, drinking, green clothing.  Everyone is happy that the weather is taking a turn for the better (aka: warmer) and we can be outside drinking again.  I didn't go the big party at Fado's last year because... well I was still getting over my break up I guess.  It's supposed be be sunny and 67 on Saturday so I can't wait for a day of outdoor drinking, sun and hopefully making out with some boys!  I just need to break out my green clothing now.

Besides that, it's been all quiet on the dating front as of late.  I spent a nice, long weekend in California with my sister and have been really concentrating on my new job.  Yup, new job!

I Gotta Feeling..

..that next week's date might be good.  The day/time isn't set yet, but we are going out.  I can't wait.  More details to follow!

Lookin' for Love...

...On the RTD?  Or on the side of the road?  So I'm taking the RTD for a few days, my car was involved in a hit-and-run and is in the shop.  While it was getting towed the other day, the tow-truck driver asked me out.  I'm guessing that he was in his upper 40's, and he was missing some visible teeth and sporting womanly locks. Needless to say, I said no.  And he works 4pm-4am, when would I ever see him??

While trekking my way up 16th Street Mall because the free shuttle wasn't coming I engaged in a conversation with a guy who was also walking and waiting.  He asked me out, but I kindly declined...he just didn't seem like my type.  And I could barely talk because my face was frozen (1 degree with a -19 windchill)

I'll still be checking out the guys on the bus, though.  No iPod, magazines or books for me- I want to look available and willing to chat! 

Men and Flakiness

Come on Gentleman, when you ask me to go out, don't cancel on me!  And via text?  Come on, get the balls to pick up the phone and call!    No excuses like it was snowing too hard or I didn't have any clothes to wear or the dog ate my car keys.  Rescheduling for 2 weeks from now is no consolation prize.  DELETE!

Dating is on Pause

So I'm a little tired of the lame dating scene here in Denver so have decided to take a brief hiatus.  I'm planning on taking a trip to see my sister in CA in a few weeks so maybe I'll fall in love with a rich hunky man who owns a winery, loves dogs (but doesn't have any) and is tall and cute!  One can hope, right??

What to do on a 3rd date?

If I can get to a 3rd Date, I like Dan's advice. 

If you don't subscribe to DailyCandy, I suggest you sign up! 

No big news to report on the dating front, although I'm thinking about a few options to meet hotties:
speed dating, renting a puppy and walking in Wash Park, or the lunch thing...

Denver is no longer MENver

From the most recent 5280 issue, which profiled Denver's Tallest Tales:

12. “Menver” is a fair, accurate nickname for Denver. False

If you walk into a LoDo watering hole, the ratio of beards to broads is often way out of whack, which helps perpetuate Denver’s reputation for testosterone overload. In 2007, National Geographic provided quantitative backup to the rumor by publishing a map that suggested the Denver metro area was home to about 40,000 more single men than single women. But a more recent U.S. Census Bureau estimate indicates that single women now outnumber single men by about 2,000. Sadly, neither Nat Geo nor the Census Bureau offered suggestions for how to distract eligible bachelors from craft brewery happy hours or totally epic powder days. —LUC HATLESTAD

Is this really the kind of guy I attract?

So I've had dates here and there with guys I thought were my type, based on OK Cupid ratings and similar interests.  My faith in said ratings is definitely dwindling, unless I'm supposed to end up with a Dad Jean wearing  guy, who I had the pleasure of having a date with on Friday. If you don't know what Dad Jeans are, here is Obama sporting a nice pair.

No, this was not the same dad jeans guy from my date a few weeks back but a different one.  JOY!  There is more than one 30-something guy in this lovely state who thinks dad jeans and white tennies are okay on a first date!  Yup, I'm being serious.  I lasted about 45 minutes, pretty much slamming my beer and using my dog as an excuse. 

I also received a lovely text from the guy I've been out with a few times, and who I thought I could see myself dating.  It said  "Although I've had fun with you I've started dating another girl exclusively."  My response was "Good luck with that."

There are two more potentials lined up for the next ten days, a lunch date Wednesday and Happy Hour next week.  My fingers are crossed for non-dad jeans dates!

I love this photo/e-card

Although I didn't break up with anyone this year around the holidays (thank goodness!), I still thought it was pretty hilarious.  And I'm sorry to anyone out there who broke up with someone either right before or right after the holidays, I know how much it sucks.  It was one year ago that I had my big break up, and it was just his birthday too.  Did I feel sorry for myself?  Hell no!  I got drunk with my friends, mainly the day after New Years.  It's always suggested to drink many, many mimosas and do the wave at Steuben's.  All of my fun money after bills are paid usually goes to them.  And I don't complain about that.

A few years ago (ok, I guess it's been more like 6 years) my then boyfriend and I broke up on January 1st.  Seriously.  He told me he would have broken up with me earlier than that, but he knew I was getting him nice presents for Christmas so he stayed with me.  His defense was that he spent a lot of money on my birthday earlier that year so it only made sense to get Christmas presents.  Really??!  I now remember why guys can be jerks sometimes.